Three Reasons To Validate Your Child’s Feelings
We work on teaching our children so many things in early childhood: labeling things they see to build their vocabulary, holding their hand as they take their first steps, and enduring the messy yogurt as they use their utensils.
Labeling our children’s emotions is just as important, but often overlooked. While tantrums and behaviors in early childhood can feel overwhelming, validating feelings is simple. All it takes it naming the feeling for your child. “You are excited you get to swing!” “You are mad you don’t get a cookie.”
Three reasons why validating our child’s feelings matters:
When we validate our child’s feelings, we are letting them know that we see them, we hear them, and we are a safe place for them to have those big emotions.
When we respond in this way, we are modeling empathy by showing them how to respond to another person who may be having a hard time. This will lead them to show this response to others as they get older.
It teaches our children emotional literacy. When we say, “you are really mad right now,” we are helping them pair the feeling they are experiencing in their body with the word. The more we make this connection for them, the easier it will be to be able to identify their own feelings.
Validating feelings does not mean our children have to sit in their feelings forever. It’s our job as their parent or caregiver to help them gain the tools they need to move through them. They may not be ready right away - and that’s okay. If their response when you try to help is an increase in crying or behavior, stop and wait. Your child does not have the ability to problem solve and communicate at the height of a tantrum. Instead, sit with them until they begin to calm down and then try again.
